I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ve voluntarily kept myself away from football for over a decade now. Actually, make that closer to 15 years. Somehow I let myself ‘get back in the game’. That was a big mistake for me.
When I was 14, I was at my mom’s house for thanksgiving, watching a football game, I had hyped up for months prior. In short, my team lost, in an embarrassingly close game.
When I freaked out afterwards (what I had done countless times prior) my mother told me to calm down. That only turned my relentless anger towards her. I have to apologize to her even to this day, for the hurtful, terrible things I said to her that day.
Fast forward to today. A few friends of mine over at NFi got me interested in UCF football again. I kept interest, especially after we nearly toppled Texas in our opening game for our new stadium. For a while it was a welcome interest. That while was short lived.
The last few weeks have proved to be more than I can bear. With back to back heart breaking losses for UCF, and Florida, I’ve had to hold back that same overflow of emotion that caused me to hurt my own mother years ago.
Some folks are addicted to beer, drugs, sex, gambling. Not me, I’m addicted to winning football. When I don’t win, I’m a dangerous guy. It would probably be less of an issue if I was a smaller guy. However, I’m 270lbs, and I routinely bench press better than 315lbs, and deadlift well over 405lbs. So when I lose control of my temper, the consequences can be severe.
It sucks to know that something is just too much for me to handle, but football really just is a far too dangerous temptation for me. I’ll leave the commentary up to Alex. He’s really good at it.