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Babies

On October 9, 2009, Mason and Charlotte were brought into the world. It’s been quite the experience since then. Some things have been great, some have not. As usual, I have a bit of a different perspective on things than what I hear from most.

First off, Mason and Charlotte are awesome. I can’t begin to put into words how much emotion pours out of me when I get to hold them. I held judgement on whether I would like them or not. After 17 days, I can say I genuinely love them.

Mostly …

So, the one thing that still feels like a rattlesnake biting my cheek; is the sound of babies crying. I don’t know how to describe the agony of hearing them cry, but after 17 days, I can say it’s not much better when they’re your own.

That gets me to everyone else:

The one thing I notice about most folks who interact with the kids, is that crying is only a minor inconvenience to them. I hear people saying how cute it is, while baby-talking to the screaming baby. When I mention how much the sound of them crying bothers me, I’m usually treated like an oddity. It’s like folks think I’m gonna get over it.

Imagine if I were to pinch you in the nipple with pliers, while telling you: “It’s fine. Why are you so upset”.

Other than the crying, the lack of sleep that entails having twins is especially brutal. I’m a big dude, so sleep isn’t something to joke about for me. I’ve lost 40 lbs since last July. At this rate, I’m going to be the size of my kids by next year.

Don’t get me wrong: I love my kids. When they’re happy, nothing feels better than to hold them and hang out with them. Every now and then, I have to hold one of them on my pillow with me to sleep. You just can’t imagine what it’s like to wake up with your daughter’s forehead on yours.

I guess the point of all of this, is that for most guys, babies are mostly hell. The screaming and the lack of sleep make you completely crazy. I walk down the street these days waiting for someone to look at me the wrong way. I could use the chance to let out some built up frustration on someone wearing a popped collar.

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