Acknowledging My Own Hypocrisy – My Public Amends

Over the last month I’ve been a vocal proponent of people coming together. I’ve called for humility in conversations. I’ve noted the false dichotomies that are prevalent in social media and news media cycles. Generally, I have asked a lot of you to be open minded about things you feel strongly about.

I’m going to ask you to be vulnerable and empathetic with people you might not otherwise talk to. It’s a tall order. Because of this, it would behoove me to be an example of the kind of person I’m asking each of you to be. While my current behavior reflects this ideology, I have a long past that does not.

An Enumeration of Anger

Like so many of you, I have found myself angry at the world. The persuasions of culture writ large are different than I would have them. What is popular and enjoyable to most people is not to me. This difference has created a chasm between myself and the perceived “world”. This divide is the foothold for anger.

Here’s a sample of the anger I’ve shared on social media:

• Calling for the end of the world #bringbacktheplague
• Praying for the death of slow drivers in the left lane
• Mocked transgender rights activists
• I’ve stated “You are all crazy”
• Ridiculed the pro-mask crowd for Covid19
• I own a shirt that says “I Hate People“
• I’ve mocked stores that enforce 1 way traffic in isles.
• I’ve said “Just a reminder: If you’re offended, fuck you“
• I’m sure I’ve liked/shared stories that piss some of you off.

I’m sure there are countless other examples of things I have said that have upset some of you. The things I have posted, shared, stated either on social media or in person reflect the person I am and the fears I have. For whatever it may be worth to you – I am sorry.

Why I’m Saying Anything

The real motivation I have for speaking out here is to be heard. It is my hope, that by voicing my opinion here my voice won’t be lost. I see the world changing so much.

Much of that change is good to see. Sadly, a lot of change I see brings fear to me. I am powerless to affect that change. My sobriety teaches me to trust God’s plan above all else.

It’s difficult to see the world today, and not think it’s imploding in on itself. The things that are said baffle me. I see a constant barrage of anger and deception. Yet, I am still powerless.

Let It Begin With Me.

Years ago, I used to go to the same church service every Christmas. At the close of that service, the pastor would say “If there is to be peace on Earth, let it begin with me”. I’m paraphrasing (probably badly), but it was a message that I didn’t forget.

Going forward, I think I’ll leave the politics to those who are good at politics. What matters to me is less about policy. I am more concerned with how we treat each other.

We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.

Mahatma Ghandi

Back To My Hula Hoop

There’s a phrase in AA that goes like this: “Stay inside your hula hoop”. The premise is anything farther away than would fit inside a hula hoop (presumably located on you) is outside of your control.

I’ve said a lot of things lately about how I wish each of us would behave to each other. The point though, is that how you behave is outside my hula hoop.

At this point, I think I have said enough. If I keep it up it will only serve to badger the rest of you. I don’t know more than you do. I’m just a guy who is scared of the way he sees people talking to each other.

Be Excellent To Each Other

Bill and Ted said it the best: