Today marks 1,000 days since I surrendered to my fight with alcohol. in these last 24,000 hours of sobriety I have learned a few things. It was the inevitable outcome of sitting with my feelings for 1,440,000 minutes (86,4000,000 seconds).
Perhaps the most important thing I’ve learned through all of this – I can be very wrong, and that’s ok. There are times when I feel strongly about something. For example, I feel strongly that the Covid-19 scare was overblown. I might be right about that. I might be wrong. It’s ok either way.
There are a lot of areas I can transfer that state of mind to. Relationships, work, and parenting are all better served by my understanding that I may be wrong. Sometimes, knowing I’m wrong, and the feelings of frustration and anger, are excellent tools for me to develop patience and wisdom.
- God is in control, not me. Don’t try to control anything
- Be honest about what I’m motivated by, and for
- Accept fault for anything that requires it.
- Help others whenever I can, using the knowledge of my own experience.
I Have No Control
The first of those points is also paramount to keep in the forefront of my mind. I can control my steps, but I cannot control the outcome of them. Ultimately, a power greater than myself is in control of what is to come. That’s good news. I don’t have to worry about the outcomes. I do what I feel is right, and trust what happens is what is supposed to happen.
Honesty is Key
Being honest about what motivates me, is an important tactic to prevent my mental illness of addiction from taking control of my life. Often, I feel that I need, deserve, or require something. Sometimes I do, sometimes I do not. Asking myself questions about why I feel that way is the first step in being honest. Praying for answers is the second step.
Admit Fault, Quickly
Accepting fault requires humility and faith. In short, the previous points build to this. I cannot accept fault unless I believe that my higher power will protect me. I cannot apologize without being honest about what I have done, and why I have done it.
Share The Love
Helping others is the crown of my efforts to be more present and sane. It is the method by which my higher power shows me more than I could otherwise know. If I remain an island, I can only learn what I choose to see. If I broaden my experience to include others, God shows me what I could not see for myself.
These lessons have been crucial for the betterment of my life, and the lives of those around me. I have:
- Reduced the chaos of my life
- Stopped depending on others to provide my own happiness
- Reflected on my motivations a ton.
I’ll think of some stories to share in the coming days and weeks to help highlight this.